The aim of education is the knowledge, not of facts, but of values. -William S. Burroughs
Family of a child is the major source of socialization of the child. A child spends the initial years of his life among his or her parents. Therefore, parents are the major source of learning for a child. But, in the present phase of life, parents are abundantly busy in their respective occupations in order to earn and satisfy the needs of their family. This leads to a family barrier, communication gap and create loneliness in the family, especially the child who suffers this a lot.
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. –Nelson Mandela
The overall performance of a child depends upon the initial training they get from their parents. It is a fact that those students achieve more in their academic career, who get proper attention from their parents compared to those students who are not. Parents should be significantly aware on how to socialize their children, how to take care of them, how to educate them as well as considering the best steps useful for their education and how to influence them in a positive way to let them adopt good habits and many more.
Here are the essential tips as follows:
1). Spend Quality Time with your Children Regularly
Parents need to implement this fact in their daily schedule to spend some, ‘Quality Time’, with their children regularly. Initially, it would be somewhat very hard to pull out special time from their already occupied programme. But, this special time spend with them only, will in future emerge as the best moments to be remembered and will definitely issue very positive life-long results. Spend small portion of your time with children and motivate them with positive words, instead of getting indulged in mobile, laptop or any other virtual reality gadget that will cut you off from the real life world and very important society. Take interest in their day to day activities, guide them for improvement and refrain them from bad conduct. This will make children think and feel, that they are valuable beings and their parents support is always over them. It builds the confidence level of the children and increases their interest in studies.
Psychology states that children who are deprived of their parental attention, develops many personality disorder which appears in them in their later age.
2). Understand Them keeping Yourself at their Age
The surrounding of the children should be favourable for their grooming. Unless, parents put themselves at the age of their children and understand the actual warmth of their undergoing life, your child can never become confident. Feel as a child, when you were at that growing age, you too made mistakes. May be small or big, as no one is perfect. You too were scared of those blunders, but were politely guided by your parents that time. So, does now, every child is growing and his/her sense of intellect is not mature, they therefore need your love, your patience, your calm reaction and obviously your general support. Studies say, that no child has ever improved by means of scolding or harsh words. If this pleasant and friendly touch, could be the way to teach the real complication of life, children will definitely absorb the guidelines of parents and implement in future, to stop themselves from committing any other mistake.
3). Create a Formal Daily Routine Time-Table of your Child
To succeed in academic as well as personal life, there mandates to have a time table for the student. Through this time table, student can evenly section their time in between studies and play. This particular time table shall include their each and every daily activity as in exercise, outdoor play, indoor games, interaction with family, eating, proper sleep and obviously studies, or many more. Creating a study timetable will definitely aid to have sufficient time to revise subjects. Moreover, also inculcate the much vital habit of including adequate and nutritious food to your child’s meals to keep them fit and healthy. Monitor your child’s sleeping pattern and make sure they get adequate rest.
4). Start Appreciating your Child’s Smallest Achievement and Encourage them more
A parent should act as a facilitator for the child in their each and every activity and during exams too. Always remember that the child already feels anxious and stressed about their performance in exams. At this juncture, as a parent, you should motivate them and thoroughly encourage them for their done activity. When you’ll start appreciating your child’s even the tiniest deed, they would definitely foster more courage and their confidence level would be boosted to a considerable level. Helping them identify their strengths, interests, and reinforcing their self-esteem and self-confidence is the most important and sensible way of nurturing your child. This should reflect in your everyday conversations with your child. See that your day to day conversations do not indicate that you respect only success, show the attitude of taking both success and failure even-handedly and also that both are equally important. Ask yourself, what should be the content of your talk with your child for most of the time? Is that making your child feel happy and confident? If not, you need to change the content of your talk such that your child grows as a healthy and happy individual. This process would ultimately help your child excel in his academic life.
5). Never Compare your Child with others in any Approach
Comparing your child to other kids has several negative consequences on your child’s well-being. Not only will you stress them out, but you could damage your relationship with them. Firstly, you need to understand that each child is unique and has his or her own strengths and talents. You also need to understand and accept that people can make a living and lead a good life, with or without ace marks. So, valuing your child just on the basis of academics is not at all the right thing to do. Parents need to get over this misconception and mind block. Academics are just one part of life and not life itself. Accepting the child’s potential and finding possibilities within that purview is a sensible way to support your child.
As a parent, you can start by being completely clear about your own ideas of academic success and failure. For example, if you believe that getting marks less than 95% is failure, your child will inadvertently imbibe the same idea. So, when they’ll score 90%, which is considered a healthy score, they will feel disappointed because their parents do not consider it to be good enough. As a parent, it is best if you can give more importance to your child becoming a sensible and compassionate individual in society. Then, we conclude on to giving examples of other children accomplishments as a way to encourage and motivate our child. For instance, “Look, Our Neighbour’s son secured 90% in Maths” or “Your friend Pinky stood first”. “Learn something from other kids. Stop loitering in the neighborhood and join some classes”. Obviously, your aim is not to hurt your child, but unknowingly these verbal statements do more harm than good. Comparing your child with others’ is actually making you and your child stressed, and is a useless activity. The child feels burdened and lowers his self-confidence, or starts withdrawing from performing well as he already know, someone else will outperform him, if he is constantly being compared.
6). Educate your Child for his Mistakes with Calm and Positive Mood
Provide the much needed assurance and emotional support to your child to overcome their mistakes. Parents should not be too harsh to their children, there should be an even balance between there love and strictness. Mistakes can be rectified by proper treatment as in using calm or positive words, by using love as well. But, if the child gets engaged in something really bad, then parents should prohibit them strictly but positively. Do communicate them their weak factors but with a healthy tone and manner. As we know, it’s only words and the way of talking that make or break: relations. When you’ll politely educate your child about the negative impact and outcome of this mistake, they’ll definitely understand to the point and will try to forbid from the similar mistake in future.
7). Never Scare your Child with a False Belief
Parents should never ever cause a fear in their child for incorrect and inappropriate topics. Causing such a horror will throughout their life, leave an intensely negative impact on their mind and heart. Just to make children restraint from a particular activity, doesn’t need to build a terror for it. Such a wrong conception that they will carry for the particular thing, will surely ruin their self confidence. Parents should never stop their child communicating a totally wrong belief as this impression will somewhere occupy a corner in their memory. So, never leave a fear on your child for a ghost, false information or any other sort of talk that in actual life doesn’t even exist. Yes, its your duty to strictly guide them for true factors such as driving slow, not to stay outdoors for late night, prohibit from indulgence in any wrong habits (smoking, drinking, etc), etc. This will enhance their morals and values and truly lead them to live a righteous life.
8). Never Discuss your Personal Problems before your Child
One of the important reasons of poor academics and self confidence in a child is the impact of regular discussion of your family problems between them. When these personal matters are lifted in the presence on your child, seriously they’ll start experiencing a negative sensation in them. Obviously, your child is too a branch of your family tree and if some other branch starts shaking, its dreadful effect would be felt throughout the whole tree. So, never disclose your internal matters with your children or come with a terrible mood in front of them, this will discourage them and crush seriously their happiness. Maybe, the parents’ fighting or arguing lead a child to feel threatened, or fearful that the family would split. Because of this, the child is more likely to experience emotional problems, such as depression. The impact of everyday conflict between parents on their children’s behaviour and mental health also triggers their change in nature.
9). Keep an Constant Check on the Daily Activities of your Child
You should be aware of all the activities of your child. You should have a regular eye on their routine activities. Observe that your child is not wasting a lot of his time in playing, watching TV, using mobile and all other stuff that cuts him off from the real world. Always keep a track record of his close friends including the ones with whom he plays, where they mostly hang around, their preferred game, their other activities, their social media approach, and most importantly, the child should not make close friendship with an elder age one. Always guide your child when he gets off track but in a subtle and proper way.
10). Don’t replace your time with other Digital Gadgets
Never exchange the time, you are unable to provide your child with digital gadgets like mobile, laptop, tablet, I-Pad or any other, as this would sow a tiny seed of addiction in them for these appliances, which later on will be extremely difficult for them to withdraw. If a child spends significant amounts of time on video games for example, this robs from his play time, social time or even time with parents. There is no doubt that technology, while beneficial to children in terms of learning and social development, can also lead to negative social withdrawals if the time spent on the devices are not controlled by you. Prolonged exposure (hours and hours a day), and overload of techie fun can lead your child to disorientation, anxiety and emotional “numbness. However, in future your child may even turn into a very stubborn person and his demands would increase. The wise use of gadgets can make our lives easier. However, with its misuse, we can expect more problems. You need to step up and take on an active role in your child’s life, especially in the use of gadgets. By taking measures right now, you can prevent your kids from being consumed by this meaningless use of their time.
11). Keep United and always celebrate family occasions together
Mostly parents due to their tight schedule, when unable to give time to their children, just pay them an amount and allow to party outside with their friends. This really is a very bad habit and when it will put a gap in your relation with child, you’ll never know. As said before, your child needs your time and love, and if they don’t have that, they’ll definitely start finding it in others. Obviously, children are very much excited for their birthdays, much before the time and to celebrate it to the fullest, they already have made many plans. So, always celebrate your child’s birthday among your family members and elders, so that they feel the love and care of their family and understand the importance of their blood relations.
Moreover, educate your child to respect their elders and obey them courteously. As the children love to receive gifts with feelings, so do the elders seek and love to have some small token of gifts only, from their children or loved ones. Although they don’t need anything but still your gesture to even though put any gift in their hand or celebrate their birthday, anniversary or any memorable day together will certainly bring delight to their heart. So, children too need to inculcate this thing in their daily life to always make their elders happy.
So, if you start implementing and considering these small yet very important tips in your day to day life with your child, definitely he’ll never go away from you and leave our hand. And certainly, he’ll stand and live up to your expectations.